30 Jun What Happened at The Pouching Wedding?
Nearly two months have passed since our public, unofficiated community-theater wedding at Villa Montalvo, and we can comfortably say that May 7, 2016 was the best day of our conjoined lives. Never again will we look as taut, youthful, and radiant, as surrounded by equally taut, youthful, and radiant individuals.
In our experience, a well-executed wedding leaves guests feeling blurry and warm, as if they’ve been whisked away to an elaborate fairy play (insert joke here) in a meadow subtly unfurled from time. We hope we’ve succeeded in bringing you some amusement and a little bit of light.
Please enjoy the verbal and visual recap below; all photos are by Adriana Klas Photography. Every frame, every pose (candid or not), every conversational snippet captured is one brushstroke. Together, they make up the Impressionist contours of our Best Day Yet.
This post marks us signing off for the season, and you can view more photos on our wedding webpage. However, The Pouching is a lifelong lifestyle brand, and it will reopen at a later time (HINT HINT).
Nature did us a solid, and by the time we arrived at Villa Montalvo, the morning rain had abated, and the grounds had dried (along with Wayne’s trousers… guess who was the hot mess refreshing multiple weather forecasts up to the minute of the ceremony? (NIHILISM PAYS, CHILDREN) Getting ready in the bridal suite was essentially us preparing for a regular night out in NYC, with roughly equal quantities of weave and heel height. None of this First Look business — Wayne was on the ground, fluffing Joyce’s dress to a meringue finish, ignoring the bride’s pleas that she needed to use the bathroom for the 14th time of the day.
Because we take things entirely too far, we had a “unique” ceremony without a bridal/groom party or an officiant. After Joyce took a full 10 minutes to walk down the aisle, we held hands at the altar. We told the story of how we met through a cute skit that we had rehearsed, then organically transitioned into our vows, which we had not rehearsed. In our vows, there were two metaphors total: Wayne talked about how Joyce was a brilliant star who could not be contained, while Joyce compared her psyche to a carry-on suitcase that Wayne helped unpack (don’t read too much into it). Wayne’s parents laughed, Joyce’s mom clapped and Joyce’s dad sobbed so hard that we thought he was having a stroke. Then you blew us all away while Katy Perry’s “Birthday” played in the background.
3) Cocktail Hour
While we got our photos taken on the grounds with our family, you got cheerfully wasted on our embarrassing specialty cocktails in the Spanish Courtyard (thanks to the bartenders from The Party Helpers for mostly keeping a straight face). As you sipped a delicately balanced Oh Haro or a sprightly Burmese Hydra, you gazed upon the army of koalas and other paper collateral that Wayne had assembled. You noticed our light motif in our pouch stars and star cutouts in the cocktail menus. You wrote messages of hope and encouragement from past/present/future in our guestbook, and you side-eyed our conversation starters. Even though we weren’t at cocktail hour, you felt the full force of our personalities, and you shuddered a little.
4) Dinner + Speeches
All guests received their linen drawstring pouches, complete with mini white lanterns and pouch stars. As you dined al fresco on the veranda, braving the chill because we didn’t want to pay for heat lamps (sorry bout it), we surprised you by choosing two of our high school friends to do a traditional roast. Neha discussed Wayne’s early-onset nerdiness and lack of social skills, and Gus talked about all the “C” words that apply to Joyce. Then we made the rounds at each table to do a traditional toast.
5) First Dance
For our first dance, we chose Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do.” Yes, the Fifty Shades of Grey song. So it was only appropriate that Joyce changed into a sheer black dress with dense beading and heavy boning (that Bellatrix Lestrange aesthetic, minus the racism). For two minutes, Wayne valiantly tugged Joyce around the dance floor like she was a shapely, sweaty barge, and then you swarmed to our aid and finished out the song.
6) Cake Cutting + End of the Night
Joyce made a third outfit change, completing the Snow White arc that Wayne set out in his designs (gowns as white as rice, as black as soy sauce, as red as char siu pork). The three-tiered koala cake was a black and white tuxedo dessert with raspberry napoleon filling, covered in white and mint green fondant “eucalyptus leaves.” On top was a gold mini lantern that Wayne had spray-painted in his parents’ garage the week before. We asked our wedding coordinator to sneak the lantern in there, because we didn’t want to fork over $75 for a cake topper (thanks, Adrienne!). You obligingly put your hands in the air and your hips all over the place. Fueled by your energy and the adroit choices of our DJ, Henry Kim of BIG FUN Disc Jockeys, we gently pressed our buttocks together, while someone yelled, “Brown Swipe! That was a Brown Swipe!” Truly, it was a brand moment, and we want to thank you all for taking us there.
Joyce + Wayne
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