The Pouching HoneyPouch Beach Dinner Tongsai Bay

03 Jun Reasons Why To Go to Koh Samui for Your Honeymoon

Hello, friends and family! Nearly a month ago, you celebrated our wedding day with us, from blowing bubbles at our ceremony to socializing like adults on the veranda to chugging your last beer whilst being dragged off the dance floor because Saratoga is a respectable city with respectable noise ordinances (or falling asleep on the couch in the library — hi, Sandy!). We’ve been overwhelmed and humbled by your support and kind wishes, so we’re going to pull your butt both cheeks down for a vacation slideshow, since we will literally never look this good again.

If the ceremony and reception on May 7 were the performance of a lifetime, the honeymoon — the HoneyPouch, if you will — was the distended afterparty.  And here are all the cocktail ingredients that made it possible.

The Pouching Tongsai Bay Koh Samui Room Service Room

1) Service

Prior to the HoneyPouch, we had been cheerfully obsessing over The Tongsai Bay resort for the past ten months, and the profoundly magical experience fulfilled our Wildest DreamsTM. Every hotel staff member was welcoming, efficient and courteous, with a subtle attention to detail that never felt ponderous. Case in point: Every morning, as we took our breakfast in the open-air restaurant, a team of staff members — prompted by us giving our room number at breakfast — would swiftly descend upon our villa, sweeping our terrace, bringing in fresh seasonal fruits to the coffee table beside the bed, ensuring no fewer than eight full glass bottles of drinking water (with adorable metal pop-off tabs!) are sprinkled throughout the premises and placing dewy jasmine flowers in the bath and vanity areas.

Tongsai Grand Villa View in Koh Samui

2) Scenery

Located on the northeastern-most tip of Koh Samui in the Gulf of Thailand, The Tongsai Bay is hung up like a fragrant fever painting amidst 25 acres of tropical gardens and coconut trees, with a private beach. It’s one of the most sensual eyeball experiences we’ve ever had, and these oily peepers have seen a LOT.

Tongsai Grand Villa Bathtub Gazebo Koh Samui
Tongsai Grand Villa Terrace Koh Samui

3) Lodge

The resort has 83 suites, cottages and villas with ocean views and wide terraces. Because Wayne forgot to convert square meters to square feet, he panicked and picked the friggin’ Grand Villa when booking our stay. Our teak wood terrace contained a wet bar with juice/coffee/tea/booze, oversized dining table for two, outdoor bathtub with flowers & bath salts, two white lounge chairs for sunbathing right against the railing and a canopy outdoor King-size bed for overlooking the verdant tangle below (there was also a King-size bed inside the villa proper).

Tongsai Bay Prana Spa Half Moon Pool

4) Pampering

The Tongsai Bay features a Prana Spa, which is literally accessed by hopping on 18-inch-diameter circle stones set in a stream. The spa consists of several aggressively cute cottages, designed for a max of two adults at a time. We each booked a 2.5-hour-long treatment, which included a foot soak, herbal steam room session, body scrub (Wayne’s was sea salt; Joyce’s was coffee and honey), body wrap and hour-long massage. Mind, Joyce hates being touched by strangers, but she found the process transcendental. If we were any more relaxed by the end of the treatment, we’d be dead.

The Pouching HoneyPouch Beach Dinner Tongsai Bay
The Pouching HoneyPouch Beach Dinner Tongsai Bay Koh Samui

5) Romance

After this HoneyPouch, we can see why vacations save marriages. We had a private beach dinner, with a chef preparing our five-course meal at a discreet station 100 feet away from our table for two. There were exactly 30 lanterns planted in the sand around our feet, illuminating the whispy white canopy above and the faint foam edging of the waves beyond. Did that light feel warmer, because we didn’t have to place those lanterns ourselves? At least half of us (the lazier one) would give a resounding YES.

Most marriages are not romantic comedy constructions; they’re more like psychological two-handers in a 730-square-foot Manhattan 1BR with slanting floors and lean-to-sterile decor. But that’s what The Tongsai Bay served up to us, with its conscientious teak-and-jasmine luxury — fantasy at a fixed point. Solitary kayaking, lounging with a lightly ~organic~ wedding veil, tripping over a tactical line of frogs, airing out under mint-scented hand towels, whirring down a paved incline in a golf cart, splashing in a Midnight Special bubble bath outside, toasting with freshly ground fingerroot cocktails on ice.

We’re already planning our 10th anniversary celebration there.

Joyce + Wayne holding The Pouching lantern

 

Boop.
Joyce + Wayne

 


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